3rd week of tar college

the week 3 is here..nothing much happen yet..The thing now is my best friend is having his own problem at his college there which is very very complicated and i helped him out as much as i could..no matter what he had to settle it himself..anyway enough about him...today im gonna say about me again..kinda boring huh?so continue reading if u wan~..

Firstly referring back to my last post which i say my life is lost..its still going on..i feel that im currently living my life without any purpose..im always being the good guy helping people out on their own personal problems but when it comes to me i cant even help myself..isnt that a..shame?

when i cant even settle my own problem i wanna help people?why do that?thats the question i cant solve myself!I have been having sleepless night because of thinking wat to do next and i cant figure it out..

Last time I am Filled with:

~Happiness

~Confident

~High Motivation

~judge thing carefully

~enlightened mood and happy always

BUt now its the total opposite..

I am happy from the outside as always when u see me but on the inside..im not..i wonder do i really need support and help from others?or should i just stop studying instead?sigh...

the reason why i suggest stop studying is because i cant afford to keep wasting my mom's money!she is alone working now and shes already 51!she can only work for few more years now..my fathers gone and im the only child so i will have to work hard and support her..but currently the way i am now are so useless..Kee Guan U sucks~!big time!

Im good at consoling others but not on myself..i wont show my emotion to others but only my happy faces..thats because i do not wish for u guys to see a sad noob.. :)

should i change course?college?or mayb should i just continue wat im doing now?there are so many FUCKING unsolved/unanswered question in my mind right now...i feel so stressful..is this the life of a college where people feel lost?watever..well guys who know me well should be shock to even believe wat im saying right now..but thats the truth!

And lastly.. i feel relieve after  writing this  out..and a P.S..(i almost drop my tears when writing this,i wish i had someone to offer me a shoulder XD!!~~feels so girlish lol)

i do not want anything.i just want one thing only ONE THING!!

THAT IS MY CONFIDENT!!

last but not least,thanks again to those who continue to read up to this point..really appreciate u guys for hearing me out k?nitez..